Wednesday, September 07, 2005
an old friend
i came across things that i have missed.
a picture of her. funny how i can smile and hurt. but i didn't find the tears this time around. i assume the numbness is taking over. i hate, but embrace it and wonder how long it will sustain me. but the tears eventually come. they always find the cracks.
a goodbye note to myself. essentially a sort of "dear john" letter... or "dear me" as it were. again i smile, and ache inside. it marks the moment when i split... when i created another self. the one who would force the wall. numbness. but it never lasts.
adoration. they both take notice. my two selves racing to do as they are inclined. one to pursue, the other to kill it.
i twitch at the tingling of a third persona now. the one who might fix ME for a change. maybe then i can find my second chance. perhaps with her. or someone new.
whichever, i hope we can get it right this time. me... and my only friends.
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a picture of her. funny how i can smile and hurt. but i didn't find the tears this time around. i assume the numbness is taking over. i hate, but embrace it and wonder how long it will sustain me. but the tears eventually come. they always find the cracks.
a goodbye note to myself. essentially a sort of "dear john" letter... or "dear me" as it were. again i smile, and ache inside. it marks the moment when i split... when i created another self. the one who would force the wall. numbness. but it never lasts.
adoration. they both take notice. my two selves racing to do as they are inclined. one to pursue, the other to kill it.
i twitch at the tingling of a third persona now. the one who might fix ME for a change. maybe then i can find my second chance. perhaps with her. or someone new.
whichever, i hope we can get it right this time. me... and my only friends.
Post a Comment
